This is the droid you’ve been looking for.

I have consumer lust. It consumes me.

Welcome to Star Wars, the George Lucas cash cow. And meet R2D2, argued by some to be the mastermind behind the rebel um… rebellion and still by others as a deep cover operative planted by Yoda during the Trade Federation Blockade of Naboo. There are valid points to both arguments and I won’t shame myself with a fifteen thousand word exposition supporting and refuting both claims. Because that would be silly.

Not like this. Which is so tacky it’s beautiful. If you haven’t followed the link you should do that now because that’s what the link is for. If you haven’t, well here’s a picture just to remind you how special it is. A DVD player, a 260 inch projector, Ipod player, USB, memory card reader and it moves and sounds just like R2.

Look at it. Admire. And then understand that it costs $2900 USD and if you can afford it you don’t deserve it. But I do. So buy it for me.

This… thing, this audio visual solution, this revelation from the Force itself puts me in crisis. On the one hand I see it as a shameless piece of tack. How god awful can a remote (the millennium falcon) be? Never mind that I don’t even want to imagine the living room that this thing looks right in. This is wrong like cement lions out the front of your house and pink flamingo statues inside. What I’m trying to say is that this is as subtle and elegant as a three o’clock vomit into your pillow.

But I want it. I need it because it moves and sounds just like R2. So most of the time it’ll be hooked up to a decent sound system, and more than likely there’s a power plug desperately required at around fifteen minutes into whatever you’re watching but it moves. It makes R2D2 sounds and curse me, revile me, laugh at me and pity me.

I want it.

~ by hitmahip on 30 April, 2008.